is he still talking about that stupid mall cop movie? jesus.

my only hope is the runaway success of "paul blart: mall cop" will reflect some richly deserved limelight on its obvious source material, "drabble."

last weekend, the american people proved they can hear about a widely panned comedy starring a morbidly obese man in a mall cop costume perched atop a segway, and still think "this is the best thing out there right now."

and this day would never have come without drabble tirelessly and thanklessly toiling in near-anonymity to pave the way for such widescale bemusement/apathy toward fat mall cops on segways.

i'm calling you out, blart. pay your dues and honor your roots!

forget it, marge! it's chinatown!

i just saw an ad for that "paul blart: mall cop" movie. i'm wondering whether anyone else noticed it's basically a movie version of the comic strip "drabble."

for those of you who aren't familiar, "drabble" is about a morbidly obese, slow-witted mall cop. he rides a segway and eats lots of junk food and his family makes fun of him.

needless to say, it's a real gas. behold!

drabble rides his segway to buy junk food. a delightfully incisive jibe at moden america's values toward health and exercise.

drabble simultaneously stuffs his bloated face with junk food and socks it to his in-laws. zing!

a henpecked drabble dispenses some wry fatherly advice.

so obviously fat, dumb guys with useless jobs (i.e. mall cop) are already really funny. plus segways make everything funnier, that's a no-brainer. AND if the aforementioned fat, dumb guy happens to be portrayed by that slob from "king of queens," i know what i'm doing tomorrow for opening day! viva blart!