but, alas, i now must grudgingly admit that i believe larry craig is innocent and not at all a hypocritical scumbag who grew bloated with political power by condemning the very behavior in which he secretly engaged.
i know this is old news by now, but i somehow missed his explanation for his behavior: "[craig] is a big man who needed to spread his legs while sitting on the toilet," which he happened do in exactly the same way gay men signal each other for sexual trysts.
it's so true. i myself am a big man and i can't even count the number of embarrassing situations that have stemmed from my size while trying to use public bathrooms. in fact, the bigger you are, the more often you inadvertently replicate methods of anonymous proposition for gay sex due to your sheer size. that's probably why those two guys grabbed my friend janssen's crotch in that alley and he wound up punching them. it was all an innocent misunderstanding because he's 6'8''. (p.s. that really happened.)
why just last month, i myself was quietly going about my business in an airport bathroom stall, my pasty tree-trunk legs splayed wide due to my impressive physique. suddenly, this guy with a moustache wearing a leather vest and no shirt burst through the door, doubtlessly expecting a hot, filthy, no-strings-attached, dude-on-dude sex romp.
we stared at each in complete silence for moment, his face slowly growing as red as his naked, throbbing erection.
"i thought you wanted to... but you're just a big man and you're really trying to... oh my god, i'm so embarrassed!" he stammered.
we both burst out laughing and he began apologizing profusely for what had to have been my eight thousandth airport bathroom gay sex mix-up. i reassured him that it happens to big men like me all the time and he shouldn't worry about it. we even had a beer together at the airport bar.
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